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THE ENTRY DOOR
Come in, and
lay it down
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
MATTHEW 11:28
  • I've tried everything else, and nothing has worked
  • I'm sad, and hopeless, and in despair, and nothing will change that
  • I'm in my little "Pity Party comfort zone", and I'll just "live with all this anxiety."It's what I'm used to!
  • I just do not want to dredge up the past! 
  • I really doubt that anything new will work.
  • Jesus has forgotten me!
WALL TWO
What happened
"But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of $, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful,unholy, without love,unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God."
2 Timothy 3:1-4
The second wall is a row of whiteboards. Here we stop pretending it didn't happen. We name it — the betrayal, the harsh words, the harm we've carried for years. We transfer the GRUB stuck in our hearts onto the board, where we can finally see it.
This is your space. What you write stays with you — nothing here is sent or saved.
How long have you been carrying this grudge, years, or decades?
Did you play any part — and could you offer an apology of your own?
Have you tried to understand why they did what they did?
Are you ready to stop letting this steal your peace?
Sit with: Luke 23:34 · Ephesians 4:31–32 · Hebrews 13:5-6
WALL ONE
Encouragers & well-poisoners
"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works"
Hebrews 10:24
On the first wall hang two sets of faces. The encouragers — the parents, teachers, coaches, mentors, and friends who saw something in us before we could see it ourselves, and showed up right when we needed them most. And the well-poisoners — those who were harsh, controlling, or cruel, often carrying pain of their own, who lashed out at whoever was near.
The ones who lifted us
30+
Encouragers
When Greg first counted, he could name more than thirty people who had encouraged him — emissaries, he calls them, sent right on time.
The ones who hurt us
5
Well-poisoners
Only five. And yet, he admits, he spent far more time thinking about what those five did than about all thirty who loved him.
"That's the first thing the room teaches you: how much room we give the few who hurt us — and how little to the many who helped."
Sit with: Romans 8:31-34 and James 1:19-20 
WALL THREE
Prayer & Repentance
"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
1 John 1:9
This wall is full of holes, each one a sin of the unforgiving heart. Imagine you've carried in a bag of dirty socks — every grudge and grievance you've held. 
hatred
rage
grudges
resentment
bitterness
judgement
gossip
slander
name-calling
revenge
animosity
hostility
vindictiveness
contempt
condemnation
criticism
Sit with: Psalm 51:1-7; Ezekiel 36:25-27 and James 4:7-10
WALL FOUR
Tools & resources
"Put on the armor of God, so that you can stand firm."
Ephesians 6:10–20
The final wall holds the tools — around twenty ways to forgive others and yourself, and to stay free when the enemy tries to dredge up the past. Keep them close.
01  Lean on Jesus… see Matthew 11:28-30. Allow Him to help us.
02  Pray and Intercede for the people who hurt us.
03  Replace Judgments with understanding. Remember! Hurt people lash out!
04  Vent Letter Plus Process.. See pp.58-60 in a New Mindset
05  See others through the Eyes-of-Christ Process.. see pp.66-68, in a New Mindset
09  Be Prayed Over by Christians who are Baptized in the Holy Spirit.
06  Hire skilled counselors with Healing-of-Memories expertise.
10  Learn to Reconcile with others. If we can’t, forgive from afar. (See Romans 12:18)
07  Walk with a Mentor who has done forgiveness work themselves.
11  We get to choose the people with whom we have a relationship.
08  Talk openly with your small group. A burden shared is halved
12  Incompatability with certain people happens. It is not a crime! (It’s best to stay away from certain people.)
13  Avoid first thought “ Judgments”, and move quickly to second thought “Mercy and compassion.” ( See 2 Corinthians 10:3-5)
14  Confess our sins in harboring GRUBB. ( See James 4:7-10)
15  Be forgiven by Jesus for fanning the flame of discord and animosity with our enemies.
16  Be willing to say these words: “ I owe you an apology. Could you forgive me?”
17  Rebuke and expel the works of the devil in our unforgiveness. Put on the Armor of God: ( Ephesians 6:10-20)
18  Do the hard work daily of forgiving others and ourselves. This work is a journey over many years. Keep it going daily.
19  Turn the other cheek ( Matthew 5:38-42) and learn to Love our Enemies ( Matthew 5:43-48)
20  Realize! The best GIFT we could ever give to ourselves is forgiving others and ourselves. Be Set Free in our Lord Jesus!
Sit with: Colossians 3:12-15; Matthew 5:38-42; 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 
THE RELEASE DOOR
Step out — set free
"Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun."
2 Corinthians 5:17
It's a warm, sunny day outside, with a gentle breeze. The weight is lifted. You worked hard, you asked for help, and it was given. Come back whenever you need to.
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