Healing Unforgiveness Through Scripture

How Do I Forgive?

The Holy Scriptures provide us a rich treasure trove of wonderful resources in our desires to become Set Free from all the anguish of harbored Unforgiveness. The words of Jesus instruct us and encourage us. We experience His great powers of Healing through the holy and anointed words and verses of the Bible. Let us soak in and become transformed with the inspired Words in the Scriptures. Let us Pray for teachable minds and hearts.

I have included at least two important Scriptures in each of the 5 sections below. These are worthy of our close study and contemplation. Here we go:

1. Dealing with Anger and Pain

Along the path of life, we were cheated, abused, betrayed, abandoned, or criticized harshly and unfairly. We were ignored or overlooked at work. We were dealing with control freaks and manipulators, who only cared about themselves. We got HURT! The words and actions of others caused us harm. Let’s look at what the Scriptures say:

• Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you. ( Ephesians 4:31-32) 

Our call from Christ is to begin to move on and forgive others, as we have been forgiven ourselves. Can we contemplate being kind( and forgiving) to our offenders?

• Harbored and unreconciled Unforgiveness may cause the following in us: When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God. (Galatians 5:19-21) 

Over many years, I’ve seen how many( including me!) have fallen prey to the desires of a sinful nature stated above. The hurt and pain we have experienced have NOT been reconciled or resolved and we remain STUCK. Do we recognize these sins in ourselves? Are our behaviors resulting from the UNFINISHED BUSINESS of old hurts we still carry around?

1. Realizations, Awarenesses, and Reminders!

We come to begin to understand that harboring all the poisons of Unforgiveness is really bad for us physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. We need instruction--- to know what to do next. We CAN begin to ask Jesus for help: Then Jesus said, Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and the burden I give you is light. Matthew 11:28-30

One important Scripture we tend to forget is: If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you REFUSE to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins. (Matthew 6:14-15) Do we refuse to forgive? Are we still saying: “I will NEVER forgive this person?”

Another crucial Scripture here is about “judging others:” Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged. (Matthew 7:1-2) 

A while back, I began to think about the JJJ’s--- “the Juicy Joys of Judgment”:

How easy and fun it is to slam and barrage our offenders with judgment, contempt, condemnation, and criticism. However, Jesus reminds us here about the “standards” we use to judge others will be the same standards used to judge us by our Lord. Ouch!

1. Fess up--- on our way to Confession!

In my view, we DO need to confess our sins in harboring the GRUB--- grudges, resentments, unforgiveness, and bitterness. These ugly words and thoughts for Christians are unbecoming--- not what our Lord has in mind for us, and not pleasing to Him. Please note these wonderful verses from James 4:7-10…

So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands you sinners, purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world. (We want to Judge and Exact Revenge!) Let there be tears for what you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor.

Also, we need to take responsibility for our own actions which may have fanned the flame of anger, hostility, or animosity with others.

1. We are EQUIPPED to forgive!

Guess what! The devil will do everything possible to deter and distract us away from forgiveness. He does not want us forgiving anyone. He just laughs as we continue to harbor all that GRUB. In Ephesians 6:10-20, we are invited to put on the Whole Armor of God. In verse 11: Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. And in verse 18: Pray in the Spirit at all times on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.  These verses are worthy of close study. Let’s put on the Armor of God!

We are also EQUIPPED when we live out the Fruits of the Holy Spirit: But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control. Galatians 5:22-23.  When we JOIN our lives to Jesus, He enables these fruits to grow in us. These FRUITS act as a great barometer of how we are doing with any forgiveness issues. If we are NOT living these out, we may still have work to do. I’d say it’s impossible to live these out while still “stuck” in Unforgiveness.  

1. What does Jesus desire for us?

Forgiving others and ourselves is very hard work. Jesus is with us. He even asks us to Love our Enemies: But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you ( or offend you!) Also, if you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. But you are to be perfect( forgiving), even as your Father is perfect. Christ calls his disciples (us) to excel, to rise above mediocrity, to be mature in every area of life, becoming more and more like Him.

I believe Jesus desires for us to Choose Life--- and not remain stuck in the Grub, dragging the heavyweight of unreconciled relationships around with us. He’d like us to ask Him to help us Be Set Free, to be delivered from ALL bondage. He asks us to forgive, as He forgives.

In Deuteronomy 30:19-20: Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would CHOOSE LIFE so that your descendants might live! You can make this choice by loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to him. This is the KEY to your life. And if you love and obey the Lord, you will live long in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. 

Questions to Ponder:

1. Are you ready to study and absorb God’s Word as a means of healing your unforgiveness with others or yourself?

2. Will you “move on” from the temptation to want to “sort all this out” on your own power? 

For Your Consideration:

Many years ago I began to Study every Scripture I could find on the word Forgiveness. If we remain STUCK in unforgiveness, this is an extremely worthy exercise. We can come to understand the heart and mind of Jesus, who calls us to forgive everyone 7x70, as He has forgiven us.