The Language of Forgiveness

Issues in Forgiveness

The COVID crisis lock-down might create in us a desire to re-evaluate our thoughts, words, and actions regarding forgiveness issues. We might now have more time to devote to this important work. The other day, I was thinking of some of the languages concerning forgiveness issues. Let’s begin with some of our own negative self-talk, which might include some of the following statements:

1. Don’t you know what they did to me--- what I had to put up with?  

2. What they did was unforgivable!

3. Lord? Where were You when all this bad stuff was happening?

4. I will NEVER forgive them--- not on my watch.

5. I will NEVER speak to this person ever again.

6. I never received an apology for what they did.

7. What did I do to deserve this kind of treatment?

8. How could all this bad stuff happen to me?

9. Ah… this hatred and animosity will just go away on its own.

10. Time will heal ALL these old wounds.

11. Boy--- did I ever trust the wrong person? I just got raked over the coals…  

12. I will just bury all this stuff DEEP inside me, and pretend it never happened.

13. Can you believe what a complete jerk this person really is? 

14. I’m at my wit's end in aggravation and frustration. I just don’t know what to do.

15. What happened to me was so UNFAIR.

16. How could I have been so stupid? I sure didn’t see this coming.

17. They DID NOT do what they were supposed to do. The promises were not kept. 

18. How does this person think they will get away with all these awful behaviors?

Our New Words of Healing: 

1. I DO need to forgive this person.

2. Life is too short to harbor all this animosity and bitterness.

3. I need to turn to Jesus for His help. I cannot do this on my own.

4. I do need to be Set Free and Move On from all this anxiety and consternation.

5. I CAN be a lot more patient, merciful, and understanding of others.

6. I’m looking at how I contributed to the problems in the relationship. I’ve confessed my sins and wrongdoing to Jesus and to others.

7. I WILL NOT allow all this to distract me any longer.

8. I’ve suffered from all this long enough.

9. I need to come off my high horse of righteous indignation.

10. 10. You mean I can RELEASE all these people to Jesus?

11. 11. I now realize I took many things way too personally.

12. 12. I no longer need to plan how I will get even, to exact revenge.

13. 13. All things are possible with God--- even forgiveness of hurts.

14. 14. I don’t need to “get along” with everyone. Some people are just incompatible with me.

15. 15. I will not allow the devil to dredge up the past any longer.

16. 16. I’m finding ways to reconcile and find closure with the offenders of the past. Even the phone works well for a healing conversation. Apologies are powerful!

17. 17. I’m finding great healing and practical instructions in God’s Holy Scriptures. 

18. I am becoming an Automatic Forgiver.

19. I know I’ll be meeting challenging and hurtful people in my life. I now know how to establish good boundaries and how to forgive them. 

20. I know now that forgiving others is really GOOD for me!

I think Jesus might be saying:

• “Come to me all you who are weary, burdened, broken, sad, lonely, bothered, angry, agitated, frustrated, at-wits-end, resentful, and bitter…( Mt.11:28-30) and I will give you rest… Take my yoke upon you and learn from me. I am gentle and humble of heart. Your souls will find rest, for my yoke is easy and my burden light”.

• I’m here, and ready to help you. My arms are outstretched to you. Will you accept my invitation?

• Yes--- I’m asking you to grapple with the past egregious words and behaviors of others. Are you willing to walk through the pain to get to new freedom?  

• I will guide you, and provide the courage, and my Grace, to overcome what happened.

• Tears and sadness are ok. They are signs of releasing all the poisons of the past.

• Think of what I endured for you on the way to the Cross, and on the Cross.

• You can release all your offenders to Me. I will hold everyone accountable.

• Forgiving others is the single best way of restoring your well-being and joy.

• You will become an Ambassador of My Healing powers and Grace. 

• Allow my Peace to reign in your heart and mind.

For Your Consideration:

We may still be suffering from unreconciled relationships from the past. Our self-talk becomes crucially important. Are our internal words filled with contempt, judgments, and criticism for those who offended us and hurt us badly? Or, are we beginning to realize the profound damage this does to our own well-being? Are we getting prepared to move on, be set free, and be released from the Prison we have set up for ourselves while harboring non-forgiveness?

As noted before, this forgiveness work is some of the toughest we’ll ever do, however, the many Blessings of Jesus will reign in our lives when we DO forgive! 

I’m always interested in hearing about your own journey with forgiveness issues. I’d love to hear about your successes and Praise Reports. Please let me know how you are doing.

Thanks for reading! Greg