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Why Would I Decide To Forgive?

  • Jul 30
  • 3 min read

How Do I Forgive?


In my years of praying and thinking about forgiveness, I’ve concluded that we ultimately come to an important crossroads about forgiving. Will we finally DECIDE to forgive, or not?

This reflection will look at good reasons to make a decision to forgive. Let’s look first at what we NO LONGER are doing, when we make the decision to forgive:

  1. Not judging others or holding them in contempt or hatred.

  2. No longer calling others’ names or badmouthing them behind their back.

  3. No longer steeped in seething Rage at the people who caused us harm.

  4. No longer replaying our Grievance stories again and again in our minds.

  5. No longer numbing our pain with alcohol, drugs, or overeating.

  6. No longer plotting revenge on our terms.

  7. No longer demanding an apology as a condition for forgiveness.

  8. No longer allowing GRUBB( grudges, resentments, unforgiveness, bitterness, and blame), to even enter our minds.

  9. No longer immersed in our victim mode pity-pot---”look at what happened to me.” 

  10. No longer distracted by the events of the past, which may be decades old.

  11. No longer stuck in guilt or shame about how we ourselves fanned the flame of discord, or hostility, or animosity with others.


Why is it GOOD to decide on forgiveness?


  1. We respond to the call of Jesus to forgive. We learn to forgive as HE has forgiven. He is our example in how to forgive. We ALLOW the hurt and indignities of the past to just float away--- like fast moving water under a bridge.

  2. We are inspired by the Holy Spirit to “let the past go.” The Spirit knows what is good for us, and forgiving is one of the best things we could ever do for our own well-being. 

  3. We recognize that what we were doing on our own was not working. Trying to forgive on our own strength, intellect or willpower was not and is not working. We need to seek the help of our Lord and Savior! 

  4. We recognize that God will take revenge. He will pay back all sinners and wrongdoers--- including us! (See Romans 12:19-20) We often want to see immediate accountability for our offenders. We don’t have to worry, Our Lord is taking care of all that in His timing.

  5. We act upon the challenging Call of the Scriptures in forgiveness:



  • Loving our Enemies in Matthew 5:43-48

  • Turning the other cheek, and NOT retaliating in Matthew 5:38-42

  • Forgiving 7X70 with unlimited forgiveness in Matthew 18:21-22

  • Judging NOT in Matthew 7:1-5, and removing the Log in our own eye!

  • Recognizing that our Father cannot forgive us, if we refuse to forgive.( Matthew 6:14-15)



  1. An old friendship or relationship might get restored from having a reconciliation conversation. There is GREAT power in these words: “I owe you an apology. Could you forgive me?” Jesus is jubilant with joy when relationships are restored!

  2. While distracted by the hurts of the past, we cannot really serve God and His people effectively. Forgiveness frees us from the past, so that we can concentrate on serving here and now.

  3. We Choose Life, instead of the devastations of living with GRUBB. “Today, I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you made. Oh, that you would CHOOSE LIFE, so that you and your descendants might live! You can make this choice by loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to him. This is the key to your life.” ( Deuteronomy 30: 19-20)


For Our Consideration: 2 Corinthians 5:14-17 offers us great advice and wisdom: “Since we believe that Christ died for all, we also believe that we have died to our old life. He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them. This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” 

As we contemplate a DECISION to forgive others, a question remains: Will I decide to forgive all of my offenders today? If not, what stands in the way?

Thanks for reading. I’m always open to your questions or comments. Glory to Jesus, our Lord and King! Greg

 
 
 

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